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07/07/00- Updated 07:04 PM ET

 

'Storm' fails to find its anchor

By Susan Wloszczyna, USA TODAY

'Perfect' publicity

Chat transcripts:
navy.JPG (3224 bytes) Fisherman Linda Greenlaw
navy.JPG (3224 bytes) Forecaster Bob Case
Video:
navy.JPG (3224 bytes) USA TODAY critics talk
about the film

Related stories:
navy.JPG (3224 bytes) Gloucester, Mass.,
residents brace for attention

navy.JPG (3224 bytes) Hollywood all booked up
navy.JPG (3224 bytes) Movie boosts book sales
navy.JPG (3224 bytes) Re-scripting book deals

So much water. Such a dramatic washout.

It rocks. It rolls. It swishes and swirls as if God were gargling the sea. It has the Godzilla of H2O, a wave so immense it could probably swallow Tokyo and still have room for dessert.

But while passably entertaining as a summer behemoth, The Perfect Storm is not the perfect movie.

After squeezing suspense out of tight situations in the terrific 1981 submarine thriller Das Boot, director Wolfgang Petersen would seem to be the perfect choice to steer this taken-from-truth disaster yarn based on Sebastian Junger's best-selling account.

And on paper, the story of the mother of all nor'easters, a freak weather event that swept through the North Atlantic in fall 1991, and its effect on the six-man crew of the Andrea Gail, a swordfishing boat based in Gloucester, Mass., made for a great drenched-in-details read. But with a half-baited emotional hook, the movie version doesn't translate into such a great watch.

The Perfect Storm

2.5 stars out of four

Stars: George Clooney, Mark Wahlberg, Diane Lane, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio

Director: Wolfgang Petersen

Distributor: Warner Bros.

Rating: PG-13 for language and scenes of peril

At least when Storm sets sail and the hurricane-force digital effects kick in, it manages to suck us into the life-or-death action. Seeing a highly paid Hollywood actor (or even a double) bob in and out of the churning surf like a crazed yo-yo in a walloping downpour sure beats a carnival dunking booth. But on land, Storm summons a less authentically briny atmosphere than the average Popeye the Sailor cartoon. And, oh, the soggy, cardboard-thin clichés that pass for characters.

Before we cast off, we must meet our all-too-familiar cast, a domestically challenged bunch of scruffy wharf rats who hang out at the Crow's Nest saloon between fishing trips. They smoke, drink, fight and have sex (if they are lucky). They are either divorced or single. They care about catching fish and getting paid.

There's no-nonsense captain Billy Tyne (George Clooney, fashionably attired for a soaking but no more believable as a fearless leader than Gilligan). He flirts with a fellow captain (Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, who shouts a mean "Mayday!") and makes manly declarations ("I always find the fish!"). And he is bent on turning around a recent streak of low hauls.

His crew: rookie Bobby Shatford (Mark Wahlberg), who leaves his dream girl (Diane Lane, tearfully overboard) on shore; gawky loser Bugsy (John Hawkes); studly Jamaican Alfred Pierre (Allen Payne in a criminally underwritten part); and tough guy Sully (William Fichtner). Only John C. Reilly, with his bumpy proletarian face, convinces and captures sympathy as divorced dad Murph. On the female side, Rusty Schwimmer pleasingly anchors whatever humor there is as a plump barfly with a soft spot for Bugsy.

Finally, the movie shoves off, and omens mount. A fight breaks out, a shark goes nuts on deck, a man nearly drowns. The ice machine for keeping the fish fresh breaks down. Plus, as Christopher McDonald's Boston TV forecaster notes between doughnut bites, the tempest of the century is about to strike.

Like the book, the narrative is disjointed. The focus occasionally shifts to a Coast Guard ship and Air Force helicopter performing a midstorm night rescue of three people aboard a sailboat. And thank goodness it does. The brave divers who risk all for strangers provide more thrills and are far more heroic than anyone on the Andrea Gail.

Storm handles the inevitable end with dignity. But by that point, whatever feelings the audience has tried to invest in the tragedy also are lost at sea.



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