Subject: Enjoy...

From: [email-masked] (Farhad Oroumchian)
Date: Tue, 2 Jun 1998 09:54:09 -0400

------------- Begin Forwarded M
CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS
------------------------

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be
recycled.  Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The outreach comittee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on
people who are not afflicted with any church.

The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thurs morning at 10. All laddies
are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation
would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next 
Sunday morning.

The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thurs at 7 to 8:30pm.  Please 
use the back door.

The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical
accomplishment.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
nursery downstairs.

The Rev. Merriwether spoke breifly, much to the delight of our
congregation.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

The 8th graders will be presenting Shakespeare's HAMLET in the church
basement on Friday at 7pm.  All are invited to attend this tragedy.

The concert held in the Fellowship Hall was a great success.  Special 
thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening
at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
Twenty two members were present at the church meeting held at the
home of Mrs. Martha Crutchfield last evening.  Mrs. Crutchfield 
and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
          
A song fest was hell at the Methodist Church Wednesday....

Potluck supper:  prayer and medication to follow.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.

Pastor is on vacation, massages can be given to the church secretary.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition
of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Please join us in showing our support for Amy and Alan in preparing
for the girth of their first child.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm. Please use the large double door 
side entrance.
------------- End Forwarded Message -------------