Subject: Re: FDA

From: [email-masked] (Farhad Oroumchian)
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1998 16:49:49 -0400

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>From [email-masked] Fri Oct  9 16:45:28 1998
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1998 16:44:42 -0400 (EDT)
From: Sayyad Shirabad Jelber <[email-masked]>
To: Farhad Oroumchian <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: FDA
MIME-Version: 1.0

On Fri, 9 Oct 1998, Steve Yandon wrote:

> > Subject:   FDA Warning
> >
> > The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles
> 
> > such
> > as:
> >
> > 13. WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
> whispering
> > when you are not.
> >
> > 12. WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like
> an
> > asshole.
> >
> > 11. WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same
> boring
> > story over and over again until your friends want to smash your head
> in.
> >
> > 10. WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol may cause you to "thay shings
> like
> > thish".
> >
> > 9. WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe ex-lovers
> are
> > really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
> >
> > 8. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
> hell
> > happened to your pants.
> >
> > 7. WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
> > morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you
> > can't remember).
> >
> > 6. WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
> inexplicable
> > rug burns on the forehead.
> >
> > 5. WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you
> are
> > tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named
> > Bubba.
> >
> > 4. WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
> > invisible.
> >
> > 3. WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
> > laughing with you.
> >
> > 2. WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the
> time-space
> > continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem
> to
> > literally disappear.
> >
> > 1. WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> 
> 
> 
> 

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