To: ed@eds-jokelist.com Fcc: +outbox/pamela Subject: Re: Jokes For Sun, Sep 19, 1999 In-reply-to: Your message of "Sun, 19 Sep 1999 07:20:21 PDT." -------- > Coupons are a manufacturer's confession that they are over charging > you. > > If there had been Three Wise Women instead of Three Wise Men, they > would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, > cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and, brought practical gift > > So, you think the new millennium begins January, 2000. And that would > have to be the 20th Century for the same reasons, right? > > --- The Vent > > ~~~~~~~~~ http://www.eds-jokelist.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > The Annual Bartender's Conference has just voted the cocktail of the year: > Vodka and Carrot Juice. The main argument was that when you get drunk at > least you can see better > > ~~~~~~~~~ http://www.eds-jokelist.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > FIND OUT EVERYTHING - LIKE A DETECTIVE! > > Net Detective - 4.0 is an amazing new tool that allows you > to find out EVERYTHING you ever wanted to know about your > friends, family, neighbors, employees, even your boss! > It is all completely legal, and you can do it in the privacy > of your own home without anyone ever knowing. It's even > better than hiring a private investigator. This is AWESOME!!! > > > FIND OUT EVERYTHING - LIKE A DETECTIVE! > > ~~~~~~~~~ http://www.eds-jokelist.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > A foreman who's known to be rude, > Said something a worker thought lewd. > Though red in the face, > She's got a court case, > So it's his ass that's going to be screwed. > > ~~~~~~~~~ http://www.eds-jokelist.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity. > > ~~~~~~~~~ http://www.eds-jokelist.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Mrs. Berkowitz, shopping in the supermarket, went from counter to counter > humming and singing to herself. "You seem to be very happy," remarked the > clerk. > > "I have every reason to be," replied the woman. "I've got a beautiful home, > two lovely children, a nice bank account, my husband's life is insured for > $450,000 and his health is far from robust." > > ~~~~~~~~~ http://www.eds-jokelist.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control! > > ~~~~~~~~~ http://www.eds-jokelist.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Then there was the gay guy who went through the levels of karate. After years > of practice, he was finally awarded a lavender belt. > > ~~~~~~~~~ http://www.eds-jokelist.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > > The judge asked the woman why she wanted a divorce: there was no sign that > the > husband was cruel, or wandering, or any of the usual things that lead to this > situation. > > The woman replied that she was seeking the divorce on grounds of > hobosexuality! > > The judge, trying to stifle his laughter, asked, "Don't you mean > homosexuality?" > > "No!" she replied, "I mean hobosexuality... he's a bum fuck!" > > ~~~~~~~~~ http://www.eds-jokelist.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute, the politician took $300 > out of his wallet and placed it on the dressing table. > > "Thanks," she said. "But I only charge $20." > > "Twenty bucks for the entire night?" the amazed politician replied. "You can't > make a living on that." > > "Oh, don't worry," the whore replied. "I do a little blackmail on the side!" > > ~~~~~~~~~ http://www.eds-jokelist.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I. > > ~~~~~~~~~ http://www.eds-jokelist.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Thanks for supporting me and my advertisers. > > For advertising rates for this list, e-mail me at rateinfo@edhexter.com > for rates and available dates. > DO NOT E-MAIL ME WITH UNSUBSCRIPTIONS! To be removed > from this list, go to < http://www.eds-jokelist.com/unsubscribe.html > Pammela Fox psf@npac.syr.edu http://www.foxsden.org wheres yur fancy shtuff? cty page: http://www.foxsden.org/psf/cty/cty.htm JD: http://www.foxsden.org/JD/ phone-3156827945 fax/phone i answer-3156823581