LAFF A DAY - Friday, November 19, 1999 Laff A Day Site ------------------------------------------------------------ Dear Laff Lovers, Most of you folks do not know me. My name is Joe, and TZ asked if I would write today's column. Usually I write for a little known joke list called Clean Laffs. The humor I'm used to is not quite as genitally oriented as TZ's brand, so you'll excuse me if I don't have any dick jokes with which to punctuate my commentary. There is a friendly atmosphere here in the office where we produce our newsletters, recruit advertisers and play double pack canasta with each other during down time, so when TZ asked me the favor of writing a few opening remarks for his Laff-A-Day I was more than happy to do it. The poor sod. He walked into work today thirty minutes late, wearing sweats and a dirty T-shirt and smelling of Vicks Vapo Rub. "You don't look good, TZ," I said, "anything wrong?" "I wath up all night with a coad," he sniffled while peering at me through bloodshot eyes. "Hey, could you do tomorroth ithue of Laff-A-Day foa me?" "You bet," I replied. And why shouldn't I bend over backwards to do TZ's work for him. Last month when I had the flu and couldn't stray more than fifteen feet from the bathroom, the faithful TZ went out of his way to go home early so that I would have one less distraction while I worked late on my backlogged emails. Even now that die-hard workaholic is ensconced in his office, trying to sleep while hiding behind his monitor. So while I have the opportunity I would like to suggest that everyone try out a new enterprise I'm launching soon. It's called THE DAILY GROANER, and it will be dedicated to the worst jokes I can find. You know, the kind that make you groan. And just because nobody can take much of that kind of abuse, it's only going to include one joke a day. So it will be a very quick read. You can subscribe right now by going to http://www.shagmail.com/sub/sub-groan.html and signing up. Laugh it up, Joe ------------------------------------------------------------ After years of hard work, Joe took his first vacation on a luxury cruise ship. In a deck chair, he recognized a former high school classmate, a long-lost friend from his old hometown. He crossed the deck, seized the fellow's hand and said: "Hello, Pete. I haven't seen you in years. What are you doing these days?" "I'm practicing law," whispered Pete. "But don't tell mother. She thinks I'm still a pimp." ------------------------------------------------------------ Folks, get your FREE CD's! Start your Christmas shopping now. Get your music for a lot less at PLAY from Columbia House. Get 12 CDs FOR FREE when you join the Club. Plus, you can take 2 MORE FREE when you take a 13th selection for only $6.95. And, with our low, Members-only prices, your savings never stop! Start picking your FREE CDs now... http://www.columbiahouse.com/gateway?token=3165 AOL Users: Click Here ------------------------------------------------------------ Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? ----------------------------------------------------------- What is the technical name for a female sex change operation? An Addadicktomy! ------------------------------------------------------------ +---------- Watch If You Dare!!! ----------+ ARMAGEDDON - No it's not the movie starring Bruce Willis, but it is one pretty darn good video that explores the prophecies of Nostradamus, Saint Malachy and others. It's chilling... Watch if you dare! Is the end of the world near? This is NOT Science-Fiction! Through a special arrangement we are offering this video for only $5.98 that is a $14.00 savings off the normal price. This 90 minute video will amaze and shock you. To order for more information visit: http://www.pulsetv.com/catalog/pulse2/G30191501:P115AR AOL: Click Here for more information or to order Armageddon ------------------------------------------------------------ "I'm in love with my horse," the nervous young man told his psychiatrist. "Nothing to worry about," the psychiatrist consoled. "Many people are fond of animals. As a matter of fact, my wife and I have a dog we are very attached to." "But, doctor," continued the troubled patient, "I feel physically attracted to my horse." "Hmmm," observed the doctor. "Is it male or female?" "Female, of course!" the man replied curtly. "What do you think I am, queer?" ------------------------------------------------------------ Want to advertise in Laff A Day? 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Visit: ShagMail.com http://www.shagmail.com *Remember a FREE video is given away every week to one* lucky subscriber of EACH of these newsletters! ----------------------------------------------------------- AOL USERS HERE ARE YOUR LINKS! ----------------------------------------------------------- Subscribe to Laff A Day Unsubscribe from Laff A Day Click Here for FREE Newsletters Trivia - Win Cash & Prizes Click Here To See If YOU Are The Weekly Winner **************************************************** END OF LAFF A DAY Copyright 1999 by Pulse Direct, Inc. All rights reserved. Feel free to forward this, in its entirety, to others. --- You are currently subscribed to laffaday as: psf@npac.syr.edu To unsubscribe send a blank email to mailto:leave-laffaday-1298200S@pulse.salko.com