Reply-to: psf@npac.syr.edu To: Nautica8vx@aol.com Date: Fri, 03 Sep 1999 12:29:16 -0400 From: Pamela Fox "living is de only thing worth dying fer." sorwy fer when i get superiority complexjoke goin on. u may scold me as u wish. njoy the joke. Pammela Fox psf@npac.syr.edu http://www.foxsden.org wheres yur fancy shtuff? cty page: http://www.foxsden.org/psf/cty/cty.htm JD: http://www.foxsden.org/JD/ phone-3156827945 fax/phone i answer-3156823581 ------- Forwarded Message Date: Fri, 03 Sep 1999 02:27:13 +0100 From: Laughers To: laughers@egroups.com Subject: Jokes September 3 Laughers Daily Joke Digest! The only product recommended by Dr. Ruth! Don't Visit unless your at least 18. http://laughers.com/a/41079.htm AOL Link ~~~~ WOMEN'S GUIDE TO DRIVING MEN CRAZY 1. Be ambiguous. Always. 2. Cry. Cry often. Tell them it's their fault. 3. Make them apologize for everything. 4. Demand to be e-mailed. Often. Whine when they don't comply.. 5. When complimented, make sure to be paranoid. Take nothing at face value. 6. Be late for everything. Yell if they're late. 7. Make them guess what you want and then get mad when they're wrong. 8. Plan little relationship anniversaries, i.e. the monthly anniversary of the time you saw each other in the five minutes. Then get mad at them for forgetting. Then cry. 9. Correct their grammar. 10. Constantly claim you're fat. Ask them. Then cry, regardless of their answer. 11. Leave out the good parts in stories. 12. Make them wonder. Confusion is a good thing. 13. Ignore them. When asked, 'What's wrong?' tell them that if they don't know, you're not going to tell them. 14. Try to change them. 15. Try to mold them. 16. Try to get them to dance. 17. Make them stay at religious services until they are close to fainting. Just because. 18. Whenever there is silence ask them, 'What are you thinking?' 19. Get mad if they don't notice a haircut. Even if it's only a half inch. 20. Read into everything. ~~~~ Have you ever felt like you bought a bad product and couldn't do anything about it? Now you can! Click Here ~~~~ Not for the easily offended: King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the good wizard was showing him his latest invention. It was a chastity belt...except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place. 'This is no good, Merlin!' the king exclaimed, 'Look at this opening! How is this supposed to protect m'lady, the Queen?' 'Ah, sire, just observe. 'said Merlin. He then selected his most worn out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came down and cut it neatly in two. 'Merlin, you are a genius!' said the grateful monarch, 'Now I can leave, knowing that my Queen is fully protected.' After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur then set out upon his Quest. Several years passed before he returned to Camelot. Immediately he assembled all his knights in the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for an informal 'short arm' inspection. Sure enough, each and every one of them was either amputated or damaged in some way. All of them except Sir Galahad. 'Sir Galahad' exclaimed King Arthur. 'My one and only true knight! Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it is yours!' But, alas, Sir Galahad was speechless! (contributed by "Terazona") - ------------------------------------------------------------ To Subscribe to this and other lists: Visit http://www.laughers.com Send your jokes: mailto:jokes@laughers.com To cancel subscription visit this exact URL: http://www.laughers.com/canceljoke.htm - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ MyPoints-Free Rewards When You're Online. Start with up to 150 Points for joining! http://clickhere.egroups.com/click/805 eGroups.com home: http://www.egroups.com/group/laughers http://www.egroups.com - Simplifying group communications ------- End of Forwarded Message