Reply-to: psf@npac.syr.edu To: superspy@twcny.rr.com Date: Tue, 23 Nov 1999 17:19:17 -0500 From: Pamela Fox Pammela Fox psf@npac.syr.edu http://www.foxsden.org wheres yur fancy shtuff? cty page: http://www.foxsden.org/psf/cty/cty.htm JD: http://www.foxsden.org/JD/ phone-3156827945 fax/phone i answer-3156823581 ------- Forwarded Message Date: 22 Nov 1999 18:54:16 +0000 From: Jokes4U@jokes4u.com To: Subscribers@jokes4u.com Subject: Jokes4U Humor Ezine Monday November 22, 1999 Stop Missing Calls While You Surf. Includes Voicemail - Free Trial! http://www.teknosurf3.com/cgi-bin/ads.pl?jokes1+advert=intercmnov9903e http://www.teknosurf3.com/cgi-bin/ads.pl?jokes1+advert=intercmnov9903e Stop Missing Calls While You Surf -- Click Here New and Interesting Thanksgiving Turkey Uses *As a blunt object to fend off your pesky cousins with. *As a projectile to throw at the TV after Kathie Lee says, "Aren't they a wonderful band!" for the 25th time. *As a hood ornament. *As a disguise so your ugly Aunt Harriet can't kiss you and say, "How much you' ve grown!" *As a football for the after-meal game. *Fill it with whip cream - watch the fun. *Bury in the yard; for future midnight snacks. *If you're flying home, take the carcass as a carry-on. See what it looks like in the X-ray machine. Better yet, put it in a pet carrier and ask the flight attendant for some chicken feed. *As yet another object to drop from the top of the dorm to test the range of the splatter upon impact. *As a Christmas gift (avoid the holiday crowds this way!) *As a doorstop to keep your relatives out. *Makes a great doggie chew toy. *Wear as a helmet, declaring, "I'm TURKEYMAN!" *Before serving, paste feathers on the poor naked creature. *Secretly replace with Folgers turkey crystals. *Place a speaker inside the bird, and from another room, amaze your guests with this talking fowl! *Throw the turkey out the window yelling, "You're FREE! Fly! FLY!" *Two words: Turkey puppet. *Toss the carcass into a turkey farm to intimidate next year's stock. *Attach to a fishing pole, slowly drive around the neighborhood in the back of a pickup and see how many dogs follow you. *From a concealed location, toss in front of a passing car. When they stop, run out screaming that they hit your dog! *As in an old murder mystery, question all the dinner guests in an attempt to discover who killed the guest of honor. Gigglestick's interactive animations will make you laugh yourself silly!!! Come visit Grampa Grumble Today! http://www.gigglestick.com http://www.gigglestick.com Answering Machine Messages Please feel free to try these Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my Financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry I have plenty of money. Hi. John's answering machine is broken. This is the refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. 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