Reply-to: psf@npac.syr.edu To: superspy@twcny.rr.com Date: Mon, 28 Feb 2000 15:40:30 -0500 From: Pamela Fox Pammela Fox psf@npac.syr.edu http://www.foxsden.org wheres yur fancy shtuff? cty page: http://www.foxsden.org/psf/cty/cty.htm JD: http://www.foxsden.org/JD/ phone-3156827945 fax/phone i answer-3156823581 ------- Forwarded Message Date: Sun, 27 Feb 2000 23:35:03 From: listmanager@shagmail.com To: "Laff A Day" Subject: Laffaday, February 28 LAFF A DAY -Monday, February 28, 2000 Laff A Day Site - ------------------------------------------------------------ Newsflash: Monkeys Stone Man to Death at Kenya Watering Hole. Now, folks, I've heard of men being killed for monkeying with another man's monkey, but this is ridiculous. I bet this poor guy gets into heaven just for making God laugh. I can see it now: The man stands before the throne and God asks, "How did you live?" The guy answers, "I was a shepherd." To which God smiles because all of his prophets were at one time shepherds. God says, "A noble profession. How did you die?" Now this is an important question. I've always been told not to do anything that I didn't want to die doing. Specifically because we are going to be asked this question. The guy looks up to God and says, "I was stoned to death by monkeys." God busts out laughing. "Really?" "You know I cannot lie," says the shepherd. God continues to laugh. "This I gotta see. Hey, Gabriel," God calls out, "run the video on this shepherd's death." Gabriel cues up the tape of this guy's life and fast-forwards to the end. Sure enough it shows him with his herd at a semi-dry watering hole where scores of animals are drinking. Suddenly, a band of monkeys begin to yell and scream at him. Then one of them picks up a rock and launches it at the shepherd. Then the band of monkeys surrender their individual identities and become a mob, and all begin to rain down stones upon him. God says, "Ah, my servant, for the first good laugh in eons, I grant you paradise." "My, Lord?" the man asks. "Yes?" replies God. "What will happen to the monkeys?" "I'll deal with them later," says God. "Right now I want to watch this tape again." Justly, tz@laffaday.com - ------------------------------------------------------------ One day mom was cleaning juniors room and in the closet she found a bondage S+M magazine. This was very upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. She finally asked him, "Well what should we do about this?" Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him." - ------------------------------------------------------------ *** $50 FREE POSTAGE from E-Stamp(R) *** Sign up with E-Stamp(R) and for a limited time get $50 FREE POSTAGE. It's easy - All you need is a PC, a printer and an Internet connection and you can print your own postage right from your PC. No lines. No hassles. This is a limited offer so SIGN UP NOW at http://www.e-stamp.com/postage11 and get $50 FREE POSTAGE! AOL Users Click Here - ------------------------------------------------------------ It's not the bullet with your name on it you have to worry about. It's the twenty-thousand-odd other bullets labeled "Occupant" ---Murphy's laws of combat - ------------------------------------------------------------ A man comes in to the room and says to his wife, "I'm going to the pub. Get your coat on." The wife, overjoyed that he has included her in his activity replies, "Does that mean that you are taking me with you?" The husband replies, "No - I'm turning the heating off." - ----------------------------------------------------------- *-.-.-.-. AS SEEN ON TV .-.-.-.-* * CD's & Cassettes You Just Can't Miss * You've seen the commercials, now you can order your favorite CDs or Cassettes online with no hassles! From great 60s music and love songs to the funky 70s and country favorites there is SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE! Visit our new page at: http://www.pulsetv.com/cds.html Great CDs & Audios - ------------------------------------------------------------ For Michael's birthday, his wife wanted to surprise him when he came home from work. After some careful consideration she decided to strip naked and wrap herself in saran wrap from her shoulders to her ankles. Pretty soon Michael enters his house exhausted from a tough day at work. He walks through the kitchen, places his lunch box down, and hears his wife say, "Honey! I'm in the living room." Rounding the corner, he spots her all wrapped up in plastic. After a quick peek, he immediately says, "Leftovers again!" - ------------------------------------------------------------ Want to advertise in Laff A Day? 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